lundi 14 mars 2011

Ways To Maintain The Good Vibes Of Your Married Life

By Donna J. Rouse


Often times, relationships start getting into troubled waters when two people cease to communicate. Feelings of disconnection, loneliness, and frustration cause a vicious cycle of arguments from the slightest things. Messages and actions are misinterpreted and the end result is a break-up or a divorce.

Couples who feel connected, on the other hand, show harmony and bonding. They are able to express their emotions, feelings, and thoughts which bring them closer to each other.

The problem with couples who communicate poorly is that they do not even realize they keep repeating a negative cycle of miscommunication. All they know is that they get angry and then react according to habit. So before they can make a substantial change, they first need to realize what they are doing wrong.

There are many instances when a partner in the relationship will say one thing but mean another. Their words might be positive but their accompanying actions negative. In situations like these, the listener tends to notice the actions more than the words as these negate whatever positive message was spoken.

For example, if you compliment someone make sure it is accompanied by a smile, not a frown. If you frown while saying something nice, the words are taken the opposite way, no matter what was meant. In fact, it becomes even worse as it could be taken for sarcasm.

When people don't realize they are sending messages that conflict with each other, they end up making the same mistakes over and over again until it becomes second nature. Bad habits like these need to be discarded - quickly.

If couples are really committed to their relationship, then they need to make a conscious effort to change the way they talk to each other. Patience, love, and a desire to better the way they related to each other are needed. Though it may sound simple, changing the way you communicate can actually be a hard process.

One way to make the process easier is to go to a relationship councilor who can work with the couple to point out where they start sending wrong messages. These people are trained professionals who can give clarity to their communication deficiencies and suggest ways to modify or resolve it.




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